Nothing Hides

by James Jackson Toth

Now nothing will come between us
Now that we are born anew
Now the Regulars have seen us
They can tell our fears are far and few
Far and few
Now that nothing hides the thing that gets you through

And when the ocean came between them
They would build a boat and row
And fire flares along the coastline
And draw their dead from the fallen snow
Skin and bone
Now that nothing hides
The one you've always known

Now nothing can undermine us
And the wolves are grinning too
All creation holds the aces
Embraces us like strangling roots
Or riding chutes
Now that nothing hides the thing that gets you loose
Now that nothing hides the thing that gets you loose

Doreen

Doreen, you hung the moon - tonight it’s upside down
I’m dreaming in a room with a complicated clown
And you can almost taste the paint tonight
You tell me I ain’t your dad
But I’m better than the one you had
Did my rags look all that bad
On you
Doreen

You jostled a disguise from the holster in my head
So I made myself a servant for the crumbling of your bread
You’re the water I’m the trace of lead inside
It’s nothing a pill or two won’t cure
But I’m the blood on your sawdust floor
Has my investment gone so poor
And so soon
Doreen

I drove from Boston to New Orleans
With rock salt stains on my shoes and jeans
Just to figure in your dreams
And blues
Doreen

The Banquet Styx

They sentenced me to “X to Y” for the crime of killing time
Now I don’t know what it is that I am serving!
I was sent a great reward for absorbing poison swords
I know there’s someone more deserving

I threw dusk into the eyes of the dawn to see it rise
Resenting its creator, my own dreaming
Now the train is rolling by, whistling hoarse to spite the sky
Just like a wounded mule that’s screaming

At the banquet Styx
Wear your silver six
To the banquet Styx

I recall fluorescent spiders and hot pokers in the cider
I remember cataloging my own torture
While placed in bed alone where I’d pray to all I own
That death may be a glowing apple orchard

But all the world’s an awkward stage and I found mine inside the glade
The blackjack oak, the soil horizon
Before a woman in the sky with a bank teller’s beady eyes
Who’s loving hand was like a charging bison - she said

Come to the banquet Styx
Where the nicknames stick
At the banquet Styx

Come to the banquet Styx
And overturn your tricks
And stay behind these bricks
Forever banquet Styx

Look In On Me

Cocaine and bourbon, pinball and pool - look in on me
Don’t leave me to face the slow death of a fool – look in on me
Because time will untie the ties that bind
But not if I’m yours and you are mine

Get me to the border, I’ll sleep for a year – look in on me
There’s always some devil who has my ear – look in on me
And God only knows the trouble I’ll find
Unless I am yours and you are mine

Look in on me
See that I’m well
Do this for me
Because you know that time won’t never tell

Speed and tequila, women in bars – look in on me
Wrap me up in their blue blanket of stars – look in on me
But sometimes I think that I’d rather go blind
If I can’t be yours and you can’t be mine

Becoming Faust

Salt Lake City, New York City – I hear the voices calling me
At the club, over the band - I hear the voices calling me
From the courthouse and at the graves - I hear the voices calling me
It’s all the pretty things in life that make you suffer
I hear the voices calling me

You can say I lost my way
And lost is where I’ve come to

Toll collector, meter maid - I hear the voices calling me
Tiny fingers, hurricane - I hear the voices calling me
Over the din outside my window in the morning - I hear the voices calling me
There are so many trials of life one needs to suffer
I hear the voices calling me

You could say I’ve lost my way
And lost is where I’ve come to

I hear ‘em calling my name

You can’t shut out those little lies
They take human form right before your eyes
Before they come call-calling your name
Look around
To your friends

I hear ‘em calling my name

Poison Oak

Poison Oak, darling, I know where you’ve been
Marking off boxes on your checklist of sin
Your father oughta have his old head busted in
For raising you up how he did

You know that your baby is slow and she’s thin
Yellow with jaundice all over her skin
I’d build a big fire and throw your mother right in
For raising you up like she did

But I know my blood when I taste it
And hey Poison Oak you’re alright
So buckle up little Virginia
And stay till the end of the night

You wear a suede hat with a fiery brim
And beat cotton dry of each droplet within
They oughta round up your lovers and all of your kin
For letting you go on like you did

But I know deep down that your heart is pure gold
And someday you’ll buy back the things that you sold
And someday you won’t look so broken and old
And you’ll think of the good of your kid

And I know my blood when I’m blinded
And hey, Poison Oak, you’re okay
So tuck in your little Virginia
And stay till the end of the day

Poison Oak, darling, I know where you’ve been
Marking off boxes on your checklist of sin
Your father oughta have his old head busted in
For raising you up how he did

Midnight Watchman

Coming out of this season is gonna take a little struggle
I draw no drink from the bottle, I don’t lay my body down
Alright now

I got a hundred reasons but I don’t wanna make lists out
I lift myself out of trouble when trouble’s at my door
I learned how

The night ain’t much without the moon
Like we ain’t much without the truth
I am the ‘lie’ in disbelief
The side effect to your relief

Sometimes I’m just a cat whisker from a tomb or the hoosegow
I keep an eye on the crowd now, the ‘all hat, no cattle’ kind
Alright now

The world it gets a little heavy but I know how it’ll turn out
I lift myself out of trouble, no heartache anymore
Alright now

I got an eyeful of your way
And those were some long and frightful days
I am the ‘rage’ in tragedy
The midnight watchman that falls asleep

Beulah The Good

My Beulah sits wearing a costume tonight
To baffle all the moths who are drawn into her light
Their blind eyes so vampiric, their come-ons so slight
But to the looks of it she’ll hardly even notice
Somewhere out in the country she is striking up the band
I’ve seen the ancient Paradox, her life is out of hand
She speaks as if onstage opposite a dying leading man
Who’s clearly gotten sick or plain gone crazy
In the basement of a ballroom lunacy had found my touch
In the stall right beside me a man was tying off in Dutch
As I unpacked all my poison I thought “now this is just too much”
I said “So long, Sweet Breeze, take it easy”
I ran with a determined rush like Faustus from the fire
T’ward declarations spinning off like blood from rubber tires
And I sat there with her sisters among the patrons and the buyers
But Beulah’s sweet face I could not fine there
So I reconvened with Annabel and Mary and with June
And set off on a trip to find a lover or a room
It was like I lost my favorite hair between the bristles of a broom
When nothing in LA could satisfy me

And once I tasted Evil I went headlong into hock
I bought a button maker and I bought up all the stock
Instantly the association placed strange numbers on the clock
I was miserable and bitter – life was easy
And I hadn’t known a comfort in a year or maybe more
I was settling in, for one, I was a famous Star of War
But when it rained out front the sun would shine out my back door
With the nearly invisible whim of Beulah
Who sits beside me laughing with a girl robust and black
I’m leaning forward on the chair, she’s leaning calmly back
Her legs are crossed below her, she is graceful and relaxed
And drinks like she was challenged by the devil
Beneath a rattling sky in rows of baby blanket blue
We’ll rename every place toward the one we’re going to
And whenever I find my voice I will remember them to you
And I hope you will ignore that I am hopeless

My Beulah plays the bass notes on piano with a pal
She’s entertaining patrons down at Marlowe’s Bark and Growl
She air dries for a moment and then spits into a towel
And keeps the hinge on hell’s door ever squeaking
Blood flecked was just the fashion, while our bellies did the tricks
I used to have seven wives - I couldn’t even count to six!
But I’d walk around the city with sweet Egypt on my wrist
And dared myself in vain to kiss the anchor
The sky began to blush with spring fed ponds in every draw
I could see where Beulah’d been by what she dragged across the floor
I knew this feeling well I’d dreamt it many times before
In the sweet mescaline rain of Crystal City
Till I woke up to a shape born of a smokestack in the sky
In the company of pragmatists who never learned to cry
I tell them all of Beulah but there’s silence in their eyes
Their tongues just like a hundred salty rivers
My Beulah, spider Jezebel, she swallows every groom
She’ll kiss the ground in wintertime and bring a summer’s noon
She’ll plant a garden in you but won’t stay to see it bloom
And vanish by the glow of morning streetlights

The Park

Walking in the park to mull it over
Running through the trails evading something
Like a train when you can hear it stall
Like a train when you can hear it stall

Racing past the maladjusted losers
Slow burn cutting patterns through the forest
Like a wand slicing through the fog
Like a Wand slicing through the fog

They were out in the yard painting die cast cars
Waiting in vain for easy living to start
They wandered the hills and the graveyards
In a cradle of dark, who’s been walking in the park?

Walking in the park to mull it over
Running through the trails evading something
Drove your friends right up the wall
Drove your friends right up the wall

And your character witnesses were all behind bars
Waiting in vain for something better to start
You used to write movies, you found it so hard
Then in spite of the dark you’ve been sleeping in the park

Do What You Can

Do what you can
Convince your big sister
Change your mother’s mind

Do what you can
Recruit all your brothers
Turn your father around

In the morning sky
A wish for the day to die
Night is long and cold
Do what you can to get by

Do what you can
Tell all your cousins
Make your mother see

Do what you can
Leave no one wanting
Leave no one lost at sea

In two warring eyes
A dream for the day to die
You don’t owe anyone
Do what you can to get by

My Paint

My paint
With his leg in a little white sling
My paint
With his leg in a little white sling

I had to save him from the guns
I had to save him from a certain death
I had to pull them reigns
And run

My paint
With his leg in a little white sling
My paint
With his leg in a little white sling

I had to stay to see it through
And stick around to see him good as new
I had to live to see him run

My paint
With his leg in a little white sling
My paint
With his leg in a little white sling

You could suffer if you want
You can live or die
By what you try to hide

My paint
With his leg in a little white sling
My paint
With his leg in a little white sling

The Dome

Spit on a stone, you’re grown
You won’t sit alone, you won’t sit alone
Spit on a stone, you’re grown
You won’t sit alone, you won’t sit alone

Think on your bones, alone
In the telephone zone, in the telephone zone
Speak on your bones, alone
In the telephone zone, in the telephone zone

And in the light of day
That’s when mistakes were made
You got some dues to pay
To a future that’s not afraid
The Dome

In the morning that’s no time to grieve
You can’t wake at home, you can’t sleep alone
And the things that you leave
They won’t call you home, they won’t call you home

Think on your bones, Jerome!
In the telephone zone, in the telephone zone
Speak on your bones, Jerome!
In the telephone zone, in the telephone zone

And in the light of day
Even the tracks get laid
You got a bed to make
For a future that wants to break
The Dome

And in the light of day
That’s when mistakes were made
You got some dues to pay
To a future that’s not afraid
The Dome

And in the light of day
Even the tracks get laid
You got a bed to make
For a future that wants to break
The Dome